Grieving Futures Third Edition is released!

Grieving future cover

Grieving Futures – THIRD EDITION! Out now at your favorite book seller

This blog is not very active anymore but I still write about grief issues occasionally, and recently I decided to update my 2010 book Grieving Futures: Surviving the Deaths of My Parents. Seven years after writing it, and 20 years after the death of my father, I felt the need to come back around and discuss some of the things that have happened in the intervening years, as well as a few topics I purposefully left out when I originally wrote the book.

For one thing, I wanted to talk more about why I wrote that book when I did, and the long-reaching after-effects of that decision. It’s not like the book has ever sold much or hit any best-seller charts, but then, I never meant for it to do more than simply exist. When I wrote it, I felt that it was filling a hole in the realm of grief support resources and even now, I believe it still does.

Of course, I’ve also received feedback from readers — some people could not finish the book, finding it too upsetting. That always makes me feel bad because I never meant for it to be sob story, only a subjective recounting of my experiences. Of course, they were terrible experiences, but I don’t feel that emotion as keenly as others do, I suppose. Tragedy does have a way of numbing you to the extremes, even decades later. But, there were other readers who reached out and told me how much it meant to read something that resonated with their own experiences as adult orphans. When people tell me that my book made them feel less alone, well, that is when emotions swell and I cry. (Never for myself, but always for others…which is less a brag than a resigned sigh.) I went back to the book with an eye to making it more visible — more discoverable, in publishing terms — by revamping the cover and formatting, changing up the “keywords” and other metadata, all so it might reach others who need that kind of affirmation and support.

I also include a few pages about, surprisingly, fanfiction. I did not even reference fanfiction in the first edition, and that was purposeful. I talk about why in that part of the afterward, but suffice to say, it has a lot to do with the idea that it felt like a shameful thing and would lead people to take the book less seriously. Now, in 2017, I feel differently about it, and want people to know what a critical role it played in my recuperation.

So, the book is out there now for purchase, pretty much everywhere, including iTunes and Amazon and GooglePlay and international booksellers (thanks to StreetLib publishing!). I priced it higher than the older editions, mostly (ironically) because a higher price tends to help in the rankings, for non-fiction anyway. However, if anyone wants to read it and cannot at this time afford it, please let me know, I am willing to provide “hardship” copies for anyone who needs it.

As always, thank you for your support. <3


New post up at AR: “The False Sentiment of Material Things”

It’s been a while since I wrote a post for Atheist Republic, which I regret. Hopefully, I can keep to a more frequent posting schedule this year, at least every couple of months. So much atheist space online is taken up by deconverted people debunking religion, which is valuable for those who need that kind of […]

Continue reading...

Poetry for the Living, and the Dead

Poetry for the Living

Few things in our world are as moving as the death of a loved one. It’s natural that people turn to whatever outlets they have such as music and poetry to deal with their emotions.

Continue reading...

Homeless (where the heart is)

homeless-blog header

I had to call the landlord today about a possible water leak at the apartment. This simple act threw me into a long, dreary and painful panic attack. It is the absolute worst to be sitting on the bus, going to work, trying to count your breaths and not keel over like you’re having a […]

Continue reading...

New post up at Atheist Republic!

  Can we, as atheists with no real common denominator other than what we don’t believe in, use celebrity mourning as any kind of guide or measure for more personal tragedies? I think so. The thing that strikes me about the events I bring up here, from Princess Di to Robin Williams to Leonard Nimoy, […]

Continue reading...

The Secular Power of Coloring Books

I’ve found that coloring in a coloring book is meditative in practice. Or, in lay terms: you zone out.

Continue reading...

On Helplessness

Flower of Life

That is the essence of helplessness, I think, that desperate plea “What to do?” We must do something or go crazy, but there is nothing to be done.

Continue reading...

Death Café, Tallahassee

Flower of Life

I can’t say it was a particularly profound experience, but perhaps therein lies its value.

Continue reading...


Ten "I don't wanna go"

I’m here to talk about Dr. Who. That might seem an odd segue for a blog about atheist grief, but last night when I was chatting with a friend, both subjects came up and I was spellbound. Why? Because in the end, both Dr. Who and grief are about personal regeneration. This started when my […]

Continue reading...

Proof of Life

Grief is a burden, all on its own. It is as heavy as bags of sand set down over our shoulders, numbing our senses until all we can feel is the weight we carry. It’s said that time heals all wounds, but what is left off of that pithy aphorism is that wounds are painful, […]

Continue reading...